07 March 2009

When A Quiet Saturday Night is Enough

The bird has been put the bed, the dogs are asleep on the couch and floor, Jonesy is out on the town. It's just me, the heater kicking on, and mint ice cream calling from the freezer.

During the week, I don't get much silence, much empty time to be alone. My head is full of static, I forget to breathe fully (by the end of the day, a series of huge exhales ushers forth), and I watch a lot of rented movies to unwind.

When I get home from work, the bird is screaming, the terrier is leaping and yelping, and sometimes the old cat is crying in the basement. After watching a few episodes about the heavily boozed characters on Mad Men, I see the attraction to vodka. But then their excess tips into obliterative, and well, I just can't compete. I'd rather have a good nap. Liquor up, Ad Men.

The absence of household chaos, the lack of cacophonic competition--this is a humble goal. The night is quiet, especially the later it gets. I turn off lights to not bother the napping hounds, and my brain rests a minute, sighs.

I am to blame, I have created this slow crescendo with each new pet: quiet cats for years, then a dog who rarely barked, then another, louder, but not too loud dog, then a terrier mix thrown in who paces and whines and frets and barks, and then, then, then--then the minute we decide, Yes, we will take that small green bird home from the humane society, and how he screamed and screamed and screamed when we got him home--how his wings were clipped and we were in other rooms sometimes than he was (it could not be helped as one has to move and eat and clean), and I thought my head would fissure, and I had the flash, We can just take him back, yes we can.

Jonsey said, calmly: We made a promise to him to feed and protect him for his whole life.

It was the sudden turned up volume in the house that caught me off guard. This level of calling and insisting? Really?

Really.

You adjust your ears' expectations. It becomes What You Know.

But a quiet night at home, delicious. Magnificent.

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